Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
