I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
