if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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