i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
