He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
