SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
