You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
