OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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