Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
