I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
