Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
