I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
