my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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