She's JV to your varsity
if i can run in heels then i can drive
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
