kristin has been a bad kristin
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
