so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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