you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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