Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
