STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
