my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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