Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
