There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
