sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
