We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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