You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
