grandma shit on top of the toilet
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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