that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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