its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
