Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
