Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
