I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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