i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
