Welp...herpes.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In other news, I just burned my penis
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
