i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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