Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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