so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
