My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
