So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
