I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The air taste purple.
Randomize