i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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