Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
