he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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