I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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