In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
