people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
