Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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