sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Drunk is not a location!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
