Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
