East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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