$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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