Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
