my shit smells like andre
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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