i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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