I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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